Let me start with the crowd who turned up in their droves to witness what was billed Australia vs Tesdorf’s bunch of #$@%. 

The crowd, led by a freshly returned Kungen who had recently broken Murph’s self gratification record whilst in quarantine and Big Blue who had last been seen at the Soder chess comp sitting on a couch sinking home brew and heckling what he called “the fucking losers playing chess”

In fact, there was a rumor that Big Blue was going to make a surprise appearance for the Soder 8 with a late call up, but after seeing him bowl his first ball in the nets, which hit the left hand side of the net half way along and half way up, we decided he would be more use sitting on the pine and continuing to sink piss.

Nick Law to no one’s surprise also turned up after it was announced the club would be putting on free piss, however upon his arrival it was clearly evident he had invited himself to several graduations along the way and had partaken in much free piss drinking already.

For the first time this series Bruffy managed to arrive with the kit, enabling us all to at least look like we knew what we were doing. Thanks Bruff, we all hope the dinner and bus 69 home with the lot was worth it…?

To The game

A couple of new faces to the lineup, led by an injection of much needed youth in Slugger Burnell, along with an injection of the Bruffy, fresh off performing a highly publicised soixante neuf. Dropped was Brissler and The Tip Rat simply because it was felt Joel and Bruffy were better blokes.

I have no idea who won the toss or even if there was one, but Soder decided to field as we were in no doubt that we could chase down whatever total the Idiots put together.

The Bowling

A very confident Soder took to the field, with Condo offering Captain Jordo a fielding suggestion but was abruptly told to fuck off, with that opening salvo out of the way, Bruffy and Slugger Burnell opened the bowling with the goal of keeping the idiots under 130

Now from memory the bowling was pretty good but unfortunately so were the batsmen, who scored at a good clip. Once again we couldn’t get an early break through.

Unable to get a break through with the opening bowlers, the ball was thrown to the big Yarpie who promptly pulled his own pants down to reveal South African national flag on displayed on his pole pushers and was promptly told to pull them up again or face code violation charges- 

In he steamed! A missed catch by Bruffy on the boundary once again had us considering a substitution for big blue, but with BIG BLUES bowling demonstration still fresh in our minds we decide to persist with Bruffy. This only made the barrel chested yarpie angry and fuck me if the wickets didn’t start to tumble, with a classic catch by  Kingsley who had forgone his normal pre match 6 lines of O’Boy for a more low key approach- a great catch at a crucial moment to break the partnership- game on..

In a classic 4 over spell Logan snared 4 for 33(could have been 5) which was much welcomed ,as at the other end condo was copping some stick being banged for around 22 of his first 2 overs and was promptly removed from the attack.

Kingsley proceeded as he does on a night out on the tear, he caught everything that came his way and set a new standard for fielding. His bowling also proved economical 0\25 off 4

The skipper bought himself on and picked up1\7. 

Once again condo was thrown the ball from the other end and bowled a better line and length picking up his first wicket with a very good redemption catch to Bruffy on the boundary which then brought Big Tesdorf to the crease only to receive a large amount of verbal abuse which clearly got the better of him. Condo lengthened his run up to 12 steps and steamed him, Tessler went bang hoping for a 6 first ball only to sky a ball to the safe hands of slugger burnell. GGGOOORN A GOLDEN DUCK! condo had two in row but most importantly the prized scalp of tessler with no ink wasted in the scorebook

On a hat trick and with a slip in place, condo steamed into the return of the retiring batsmen who promptly smashed the hat trick ball just wide of condo who dived for the catch a good 3 seconds after the ball had passed him. 2/32 returned by Condo with Slugger cleaning up the last wicket 1/24 a good return in his first game

Idiots all out in 18.4 overs for a gettable 155

A very good fielding performance, but the bowling at times still too short and needing to remove an opener much earlier now the key target for next game. Guru and Larry not thrown ball were heard to be plotting the removal of Captain Jordo

Pick of the bowlers was the south african self dacker- Logan, the best return in soders history, great bowling mate…

The Batting

In strode a new opening combination, Kingsley fresh off 75no and Logan fresh off a self dacking looking for a steady start to the run chase ..Kingsley began where he left off with some sweet stroke play , clearly a man in form, whilst Big Logan was watchful scoring at a watching paint dry rate until his furniture got rattled 6 from 12. 

In strode Bruffy hell bent on making amends for his kit faux paus and make amends he did , scoring a nice 18 from 15 ,before being caught behind. He and kings put together a nice partnership which had us just over the required run rate target. Well batted by big Bruff, exactly the type of innings that was missing in the last game from one of the other batsmen

With the fall of Bruff ,last games century maker King Jordo swaggered to the crease to join his partner in crime and finish the match off for us- we on the pine sat back to relax.

Kings did what was required hitting frequent boundaries which kept the run rate ticking over, retiring for a beautifully compiled 50 off just 28 balls- six 4s and one 6- SR 178!!

At the change of ends we were around 90 off 10 ,50 balls to make 65 runs, Jordo at the crease, kingsley to come back in and Kungen was hence forth sent to get the barbie lighted such was our confidence.

With Kingsley’s retirement Slugger Burnell came into bat for the first time this series with a mind set to finish the game quickly, Unfortunately an edge behind? 4 from 3 not the return he had hoped for. At this stage things were tightening up and with Jordos stroke play looking a little more stifled than last game and Guru joining him at the crease the boys on the pine started to sink piss in nervous anticipation.

Jordo made it to 31 from 19 before a controversial LBW decision  (clearly too high) saw him depart bringing Condo to the crease. A watchful innings from Jordo which still saw his SR at 163.. not bad for a quieter day!!

Now at this stage the top order had left Guru, condo, and Larry with 45 to make off 20- somewhere along the line the run rate had been forgotten.

It has to be said Guru looked in good knick middling the ball and picking up 1s and 2s but it wasn’t going to be enough. Condo communicated to Guru that Kingsley was required back in and Guru should get himself out. Guru replied to this suggestion by running Condo out. 7 from 7 for condo who needs to get moving with his batting.

Condo’s demise saw Larry Pascoe enter the fray. Unfortunately, Larry was unable to get bat to ball with some good smart bowling by the village idiots, keeping him on strike and with the clear goal of not allowing run scoring machine kingsley back in. 

This act of bastardry (clearly tactics Soder need to learn) saw us run out of balls with wickets in hand going down by 18 runs 

To his credit Larry remained 11 no out off 14 and to his greater credit exacted revenge for condo running Guru out for a steady but slow 7 from 11.  

Pick of the Batsmen- R Kingsley- another great performance mixed with stylish stroke play and big hitting- great work!!

The Aftermath

All in all an improved fielding performance, an ok bowling performance which needs to be tighter and a slow as shit batting performance , a winnable game ruined by poor batting tactics and a lack of BBQ utensils and fire lighting equipment for a clearly enraged Kungen on the BBQ, who was heard to announce Jordos likely death for his complete disregard for how a BBQ needed to run and that he was now ducking off to lay a dugite in the forest before he was seen returning to turn the sausages with his fingers!!

0 wins from 2 games an awful start after a much-hyped pre season. A win needed in game 3 or heads will roll with big blue waiting in the wings……could it get any worse?

Soder man of the match- a tie between logan 4 for 33 and kingsley who’s fielding batting and tight bowling performance ensured he could not be left out…

Great BBQ- well done Kungen and Jordo and great after match piss up…

Looking forward to game 3!

KR

Whispering Death

Well what a  shambles! 

After a well deserved spray delivered to Smithy from Bruffy regarding his manhood, smithy made good on his promise to actually turn up. This was despite Bruffy announcing he was skipping the 1st game of the year to romance the Mrs at their anniversary- The Big Bruffster really needs to get his priorities straightened out! 

With Bruffy’s mind firmly on delivering an epic night of wining and dining his Mrs, he actually forgot to deliver the all important team kit, completely letting his mates down who were then forced to wear kids equipment (Kinglsey had young Oscars junior pads on which looked like two 2 band aids ) and to borrow the opposing teams kit, which they were non too happy about. The boys batted without genitalia protectors, thigh pads, helmets, all except smithy who of course had his own personalised gold plated kit and refused to share it- that’s the team spirit we were looking for smithy!! You really have become the ultimate effeminate Swedish male…- I’d hate to have been on the titanic with you and you were the only bloke with the keys to your own personal life boat!! 

But let’s not forget about the skipper who as usual set the benchmark for fashion arriving in a polka dot top and carrying his mrs pink esky- he would have put the fear of christ  into our sub-continent- ffs! But when the skipper raises the question “who’s got the kit?” Given ultimately it was his responsibility- we knew we were under the pump before a ball had been bowled- however, fortunately for him,  redemption was at hand!! 

Now let me get to the game itself 

Putting it simply we bowled and fielded like old men, got whacked for 220 plus in 20 overs. A note to Kingsley- please only 2 cans of red bull before games not 6 , a little excitable trying to run batsmen out with throws that had no back up or they were already in their crease 2 minutes before trying to throw the stumps down- there was nowhere to hide from him….just a feed of mung beans and celery juice next time mate. 

Dropped catches, plenty of wides and plenty of sun burn to the roof of our mouths as Sehwag and co got to work hitting the ball over our heads. 

1-34 (economy 8.50) was deemed the best figures of the day- delivered by Whispering Death himself

Enough of the sub standard bowling and fielding- a great deal of improvement to be had and some hard lessons learned 

Now let’s get to the batting- 223 the target- Larry “Drifter” Hagberg and Guru “late lunch” Smithy marching arrogantly out to open the batting 

It was at this point we witnessed one of the great opening partnerships of our time.  

With smithy obviously still rattled by Bruffys spray and Jordo refusing to bowl him, he took vengeance upon Larry by running him out without him facing a ball. Now most batsmen in this position would have given smithy his 2nd well deserved and almighty spray in 24 hrs, but Diamond Duck Larry just trudged off to plot his next serial killing victim and took up his seat on the pine. But smithy to his credit committed his first selfless act in his lifetime and was summarily bowled the next ball- Larry 0, Smithy 0, opening partnership 0 from 2 balls- well done lads, ripping start to chasing 223…!! 

Out strolled Brissles who after being tonked for 15 an over (61 in 4 overs) was deadset wanting to make amends- he did this by deciding to get jordo in asap and summarily gave his wicket away to a suspected chucker, who has now claimed brissler as his new bunny, so firmly did his suspect action worry Johnny- 5 off 9 balls 

Now at this stage we have our backs to the wall , but the skipper and his excitable 1st Lieutenant Kingsley, had other plans and went to work, dishing up some of the oppositions own medicine.. 2 sparkling, heavy hitting, classy 50s without chance , at that stage gave us hope of posting at least a respectable score- still no thought or chance of winning – or was there? 

However – Jordos retirement saw Murph scurry to the crease and in typical Murph style was talking big numbers and in typical Murphstyle delivered sweet F.All , clean bowled for a silver duck having wasted two precious balls, still he was talking his performance up as he offered condo his genitalia protector as he passed by, but due to it being an xsmall and covered in a thick yellow substance it was waved away- condo now at crease with nothing protecting the family jewels and a pair of dodgey sub continental pads. 

Condo was greeted by Kingsley who was due to retire ,with the confidence building words of- give me the strike you wont need to do anything and nothing was exactly what was delivered by Condo a slash outside off stump,  thick edge caught behind 7 from 9 balls and took his miserable place back on the pine. 

Now at this stage Logan came to the crease with our 2nd retirement Kingsley having departed . Logan it has to be said had been busying himself with eating 3 kgs of cold home made meatballs and potatoes with a dash of cane sauce- how he actually was able to lift himself off the pine to walk out to the middle was a feat in itself..but like his eating, his batting was solid, showing some flair and some yarpie spine, giving jordo who had returned to the crease some much needed support.  

Now it was at this stage things started to look up .. Jordo really went to work and bashed those chirpy sub continentals all over skarpnack, at one stage whacking 3 sixes on the trot. Such was his dominance that a ray of sunlight started to appear for the first time of the match-we may actually get the runs to get a bonus point, 178 was the figure. But Jordo unbeknown to the rest of us had hatched a plan with  Pantsman Kingsley aka Barossa Banksy, to actually steal the match itself off their own bats! However there was still 1 problem- Logan… 

Now logan in an act of genius and directly after Jordo had reached a magnificent 100 off just 40 balls- the likes of which I’m sure skarpnack had not and will not witness again, decided that the best course of action was to not only get out himself but to invoke the double play and run jordo out at the same time- with mission accomplished Kingsley strolled to the crease, logan went back to feasting on his meatballs and potatoes (14 from 11 – promising innings by the big south African) and Jordo returned to his team mates to regale them with stories of his greatness… 

Now at this stage we were still 42 down with 6 balls remaining- 5 sixes would do it and a 12 off the last ball- “cometh the moment cometh the man” – Vego Kingsley nearly pulled it off , racing from a retirement score of 50 to be not out 75, bashing a 12 off the last ball leaving us just 17 runs short of a very worried bunch of sub continentals, who were starting to fray at the edges and who had clearly dropped their bundle and were seen arguing amongst themselves. Clearly Kingsley’s hyperactivity had got to them… 

4 more balls and we might have been home…!!! 

Given the rest of us faced just 34 balls out of a possible 109 delivered scoring a paltry 26 out of 205 runs, it really was the Jordo and kingsley batting masterclass that has no doubt put the fear of god into the other teams- they will be firmly In the minds of our sub continental friends next time we meet in the GF 

Had we had just one more of us stand up at bat ,or been a bit more fuller and direct at the stumps with the bowling , we (aka jordo and Kingsley) would actually have got us over the line… 

11th June next game vs village idiot- let’s call this one as it is- The Ashes- a big rivalry to be formed from here on in against these geezers 

Will be good to have an injection of youth with the possible inclusion of slugger Burnell, and bad boy Bruffy to cancel that youth policy straight back out 

Special mention to the spy, Nick Law who turned up drank free piss and left 

Man of the Match- Skipper Jordo what a superb innings, outstanding big hitting, cool as a cucumber in a crisis, closely followed by the classy, crisp hitting and astute batting of Lieutenant Kinglsey – 101 and 75 respectively great knock fellas, was a pleasure to watch and lifted the spirits of the boys back on the pine… 

Great to be back out having a hit with a great bunch of competitive mates, looking forward to the rest of the series… 

KR  Whispering Death 

The ”Corona safe” Annual Söder AFC Bowling event 2021 took place on the 7th May at Gullmarsplan Bowling. Everyone was charged up ahead of the event keen to see who would win the prestigious event and take home the loudest shirt comp.

There was the usual banter and trash talk on the Whatsapp channel prior to the event. There was also a sinking feeling that Piney would not attend and challenge with his array of Pineapple shirts and despite many attempts to smoke him out with pix from previous antics he only chirped up at the last minute and gave Bruffy his blessing to take over the mantle.

A hardy crowd of 15 turned up with André acting as officiator to ensure that procedures and rules were followed. Unfortunately, an early encroachment was discovered when Brissles was discovered to have smuggled in his own pair of black trainers. Brissles weaved and danced his way to the point of delivery throwing curl bowl after curl bowl, racking up 5 strikes in a row. His lane companions were absolutely devastated with Murphy wetting his pants and having to mop up the mess so no one would “slip over”.

Brissles dominated both the practice and comp round. Others focused on refreshments including a round that Guru ordered with the proceeds of his bitcoin winnings. But there was no stopping Brissles. He was an unstoppable force. The team in Lane 3 were so devastated for some reason they didn’t get past the half-way mark in the deciding set.

Following the outclassing by Brissles there was a protest over the use of own shoes but to no avail. Brissles prevailed and the President was left so embarrassed by this rule encroachment it was left to Secretary Tesdorf to hand over the trophy that was glued back together in one piece. Then the beauty contest started, and it eventually came down to a face-off between Bruffy and Larry (via his proxy Condor). The first heat was tied 7-7 but Bruffy prevailed and won the equally desirable white Russian.

Finally, we were all turfed out by the wicked witch of the kitchen who demanded that Rappa settle his tab. Rappa passed it on to DK who settled outstanding business and we were off to Clayton’s for some Aussie classic music and a slab of Falcons. We then all sat round the bar table on bar stools admiring the Swans 2012 AFL premiership paper cut-out and making noises from all ends down Clayton’s digeridoo… Thereafter memories fade somewhat…

It’s all happening now, Söder cricket is on the up and up!

New cricket gear and a rare sunny day in Sweden means big numbers at cricket training. Bruffy has been perfecting his follow through and clocked his fastest just over Swedish speed limits. Murph keeps working on his Glenn Maxwell stance.

On Easter Friday Team Södermalm cycling had its season opener ride.

With a well constructed and organised ride by group leader Jonny Briscoe, the 11 man strong team headed out from Älvsjö kl.8.00 enroute  to västerhaninge to TM bageri.

With 2 new riders Roberto and Clive joining the team for the first time they were welcomed strongly. “11 man team was the most we have had in the short time since the team has been developed and we hope to grow on this going forward” were the commences from club president Danne Jordansson

25 km later we reached the destination of TM bagarstuga, touted “the best in sweden” by some in the group.

Google maps had assured us that it was open, but alas, it was closed. The group of riders had to settle with coffee and cake from the neighbouring Hemköp which was open.

After the break we made our way back into town, only losing new rider Clive who mistakenly took a wrong turn.

A great day was had by all and with good sunny weather.

We hope to se you on wour next ride this coming good sunday 8 am!

With only 7 weeks to go until the Last man stands series starts it is high time to get the cobwebs out. Five brave souls turned up at the JCG for the first Södermalm cricket training session of 2021. Regular trainings will be annouced soon so stay tuned.

Thanks for a great season lads, with some major highlights both on and off the field!

We made the SAFF Grand Final again but despite a solid effort the Dockers ran away with the score in the second half to claim the title. Big up yourselves Blues!

Södermalm went undefeated through the cricket season; 2 for 2, marvellous effort that! Moreover, Jordo batted a ton, the first ever in Söder and Jordo history! Our efforts haven’t gone unnoticed and currently we’re negotiating with the league to enter a side in Last man standing next year.

Two new Söder social clubs saw the light of day this season:

The Cycling club has gone from strength to strength with weekly social rides and regular Sunday long distance rides covering all of the greater Sthlm. Due to global warming the season has not really ended for the die-hard cyclists, but we can already crown the tyre-change champion: Danne Jordansson! He clocked a back-tyre change in an impressive 7:55,50 minutes.
Get on Strava and join Team Södermalm!

The Racquet club got off the ground with the Söder Tennis championship at the Catella Arena. Inaugural winners were Andrew Becker and Larry Borg, old school, we’re talking tightly interlaced networks of strings in wooden frame.

The social season has been slightly constricted due to the kung flu pandemic, but we managed to pull off a couple of events.
The first ever Söder Master golf championship was played as a pairs event at the Augusta golf course. Team Law/Jordansson deservedly claimed the Blue Jackets after an even par 30 over the 9 holes.

The Bowling championship was played as a curtain raiser to the Söder Awards night. The four top players in the qualifying round plus two lucky losers played off in the final. After all the pins were down Rappa stood victorious.

Tanka won the Söder Footy tipping competition by a miniscule margin. The same total score as Daniel Perillo but with a 13 goal better percentage.

First time winner of the Fishing competition was Calle, who landed a 600g/35cm abborre.

And let’s not forget the big man turned 40 this year, and he celebrated by bleaching his hair. That’s right Bluey, you’re not older than the woman you feel.

The club recently completed a member survey of the season events and the unanimous response was; more of everything! The board appreciates the feedback and will act accordingly.

Last but not least, the club has landed a new sponsor! It’s the half man, half machine, half glass, legend Perezmo together with his old man and Haninge Terazzogolv AB who will be supporting Södermalm. We are very grateful to see the screaming eagle return as a benefactor.

So what’s up next?

Well, this Sunday at 11.00 Kingsley is organizing ice swimming at Playa del Tanto. Guaranteed to wake you up in these dark times. What doesn’t kill you hey.

The Söder AGM and Boule competition (pandemic permitting) is planned for January 17^th so lock it in.

We’ll keep you updated.

The 2020 bowling night was my first experience of a Södermalm AFC social competition. It was with a sense of excitement that I approached the grey bowling building beside Gullmarsplan which I was used to visiting for my daughter gymnastics competitions. I had met a few club members at the cricket, dad’s barbeque and tennis however the build up to this event on the what’s app channel indicated this was serious stuff. Film clips from the Big Lebowski, colourful bowling shirts, some American nut shouting at the public, serious trash talk and a broken trophy cemented a sensation to expect the unexpected. The trash talk was at another level than that Smithy served up at the tennis. When I arrived I was met by a barrage of new names and faces. Brissles, Tanka, Macca, Cordo, Smurf, Tip Tapp and Don Keys . I though “Shit, how am I going to remember all these names?”. We got served a complimentary beer and then the draw began. The names where put face down and then lotted into 5 groups of 3 and 2 of 2. Amongst the aussies we were also 2 swedes, and Englishman and a Mexican. Tip Rat requested a quick check of the associations statutes to see whether Mexicans were allowed and was assured this was fine in spite of the risk of the spread of Corona. The rules were simple. Top 4 results from the first two sets with 2 lucky losers joining them in the final.

As a lucky loser Tip Rat was confident of getting one of those places. Cordo and Kingsley were late and didn’t arrive until mid-way through the first set so it was all down to the second set for them. Larry and I were in a group of 2 playing next to the other group of 2 of Jordo and Don Keys. Quite quickly we had played our first 2 sets and noted that none of us were anywhere near the top 4 spots. Nevertheless, Larry and I got the best overall scores – well over 450! 2 of the top 4 came from lane 14 – Brissles and Tanka. They were joined by Rappa and Nick. Finally, the lucky losers were drawn and it was Tip Rat as expected and Macca who didn’t want to be a lucky loser and gave his place to Fergo. The final provided moments of excitement not the least as the bowlers kept changing lanes so it was not easy to see who was bowling in what lane. In the end, Rappa prevailed edging out Fergo by one point. Brissles came third but somehow Tip Rat made his way onto the 3rd step.

So there it was – Rappa 1st, Fergo 2nd and Tip Rat 3rd . After this we went to the restaurant to enjoy more beers and a burger. The president gave a summary of the year that had passed, number of members, number of paid members, number of events and upcoming events. There was an awards ceremony and a vote for the member with the best looking shirt that Fergo with his pineapple shirt won. After that it was time to head into town and Götgatsbacken. The evening continued and what happened at Brunos stays at Brunos….

On Saturday the 12^th of September 2020, the inaugural Södermalm AFC Tennis Championships took place.  Courts were booked at one of Europe’s finest tennis academies in Danderyd at the “Good to Great” tennis academy at Catella Arena.  The academy was set up by the famous Swedish trio of Magnus Norman (coach of Stan Wawrinka), Mikael Tillström (coach of Gael Monfils) and Nicklas Kulti.  All three have won the Davis Cup for Sweden and all three have been ranked among the best in the world during their careers so the stage was set for a big day indeed.  2 courts were booked on the brand new outdoor clay surface and 11 members from Sodermalm AFL put their names down to play.  We could only take 8 players so Perillo, Briscoe and Kingsley were put down as reserves. Players were ranked by tournament director; Smithy based on a highly technical system that required the use of quantum computing facilities at one of the local hedge funds.  The idea being that good players should be teamed up with weaker players in order for a more enjoyable tournament. 

Rankings were as follows where A = Ridiculously Good and E = Ridiculously Bad:
Smith = B+
Bruffy = C
Nick = C
Logan = B
Rappa = D
Alex = C
Condo = B+
Larry = D

Reserves:
Perillo = C
Kingsley = B+
Briscoe = B+

The tournament director then set the draw:

Match 1 = Bruffy/Alex V Smith/Larry

Match 2 = Logan/ Nick V Condo/Rappa

Winners of Match 1 would then play Winners of Match 2 and Losers of Match 1 would play Losers of Match 2.

And then the rain came………..
The light rain had a few of the players concerned about turning up but only one player (Condo) dropped out due to non-rain reasons and was replaced by Kingsley and so play began.  All players had brought suitable attire including clay shoes and a few bandanas were spotted.  Smith who fancied himself for the win almost had a heart attack when his partner, Larry turned up with a wooden racket from the 1960’s and shorts tighter than Boris Becker at his peak.  Smith and Larry were taught a lesson in tennis from Bruffy and Alex and lost the first set 4-6.  Smith and Larry regrouped and in an epic turn around won the second set 8-6 leading into a third set tie breaker.  Bruffy and Alex were rattled and in the tie breaker third set Smith and Larry got up 7-4.  Alex had turned up in all whites and Bruffy had claimed that he had been dazzled by his partner’s outfit.  Dazzling indeed! Meanwhile on the other court the Kiwi, Nick Law had been booming down some big serves together with his partner the South African wonder Sean Logan and those boys managed to get up over Rappa and Kingsley in 2 sets; 6-2, 6-2. The next rounds took place immediately and Kingsley interchanged with Perillo and that proved costly as Alex and Bruffy got up in the first set 6-1.  Players then mixed and matched on that court and no real “loser” was declared. Sensible indeed. On the other court where the finals were to take place claims from Nick and Logan that they were disadvantaged by being made to change court in order to play on the court that Smith and Larry had just won on were taken to the tournament director Smith and were disregarded immediately…… strangely.  An epic final then took place.  Swedish Larry and the Aussie Smith were shocked by the serving speed of the Kiwi and the net aggression of the South African and went down hard in the first set 6-1. Smith and Larry regrouped and took the second set 6-4 as the young Kiwi and not so young South African began to tire and the double faults crept in.  A third set tie break was going to decide it and the 1960’s racket of Larry came through for team Smith and Larry who won the third set 7-5 to be crowned the inaugural Södermalm AFC tennis champions for 2020.

All retired to the change rooms somewhat wet from the light rain and then convened in the Good to Great facilities for lunch and beers.  Some of the crowd then carried on in Hammarby for further beers …….  A really great day and highly likely to be repeated soon – stay tuned.  Thanks to all who participated and to the club as always.

Tournament Director (self appointed) – Andrew Smith.

Friday evening Söder faced off against Djurgården CC at the JCG for the second time this season. It was clear that training had paid off, the boys came home with another win which puts them on 3 wins out of 3 games since the cricket section started.

Experienced tosser and Captain D Jordansson made the wise decision to start batting. A slow start by Söder with Djugården’s Benedict bowling 1-0 in the first over caused some early jitters, but what followed was a pretty one-sided affair. After excellent batting from Ryan (81), Söder ended up with 186/4(20). The Djurgården batsmen were really put to the test by the Söder bowlers and they finished on 109/9(20). Sean 2-11(2) and Macca 2-8(3) both took double scalps.

In preparation for Friday’s return game against Djurgården the stalwarts of the Södermalm XI practiced at Hägerstensåsens bollplan. Bruffy has been studying old Brett Lee videos to get his fast bowl action perfected and Murph has been working on his appeal. Headed by the Centurion Jordo Södermalm are looking good for Friday. Wasi Akrim and Waddaya Meanwasi are out of contract and won’t be playing.

On a sunlight morning, Team Södermalm pulled out from Älvsjö Station at 06:00 for their ride to Trosa. The destination, Trosa, is a charming harbour town with quaint houses and a canal running through the middle of the town to give it a feel of little Amsterdam. However, the route there is itself a beautiful stretch of road reminiscent of stages from the Tour de France – the flat sections at least – due to the expansive fields and forests, which on occasions roll out to meet the sea. There is also, halfway through, a ferry where the riders took a well earned rest since the pace was kept up at a respectful 26 km/h.

While the kilometers ticked off Andre gently provided us with the necessary encouragement and tips to complete the route and improve our skills on the road. Yet, the road is its own teacher as Jordo picked up the obligatory puncture and had to demonstrate his tyre changing skills under pressure. He clocked under 10 minutes, even with the insanely high ridges on his tyres. So I’m afraid the nefarious record of the longest tyre change is still held by Perillo. Although I’m sure he would want me to point to the fact that Jordo only had to contend with the front wheel unlike him. Thankfully, all of the riders patiently waited since they had been fed at a little cafe in Trosa and were on route to a waffle house for the snack on the way home. Life doesn’t get better than a bike ride with friends, fresh air and fika! …Unless you’re Andree, who quite enjoys the post ride shower with his bike.

This beautiful island provides stunning scenery and quiet roads that allowed the boys to hone their skills with slip streaming and just generally build up stamina. Those skills and stamina will be required as the relatively novice group aims to achieve the true ton: 100 miles or for you Swedes, 161 km. However, this training ride was more modest, yet one we are still proud of since we completed over a 100km.

Beyond that, the group raised their average speed up to a respectable 25km per hour, but we still in general struggled to keep up with Kristoffer when he chose to put the power down. Thankfully we all knew that the Ekerö golf course would provide a nice cup of coffee to reward our efforts. Having said that, by the end of the day, I still stepped off my bike like John Wayne.

Södermalm AFC vs Djurgården Cricket Club @ JCG, Skarpnäck, Sunday 31st May

We would usually be three or four matches deep into the footy season by now but due to the pandemic continuing to rage on here in Europe, the mighty Södermalm Blues turned their sporting attention towards the red leather of a Kookaburra ball rather than that of the red Sherrin. Bradman and all the other weather Gods turned the sunshine on for our match against the Djurgården XI with conditions perfect for some beers, burgers and a bit of the gentleman’s game.

The day began with a bat toss by the two Captains (Jordo & Marcus) with Jordo losing the call and getting sent in by the Djurgåden XI skipper. Slightly nervous that we only had nine batsmen we all thought that this could have been a crucial toss to lose. Nevertheless, Club President and opening batsmen Daniel Jordan was extremely confident at the task at hand and rallied the troops to start padding up and get some ‘throwdowns into ya’.

Both opening batsmen (Jordo & Andrew Smith) certainly looked the part and both even had their own gear to use as opposed to the rest of us that needed the borrowed resources of the opposition team. With Macca (Umpire) and Larry (Square Leg Ump) heading out on to the field, this meant that pre-beers needed to be skulled by all. The first two overs were a bit slowly-slowly as both openers got their eye in on the hallowed synthetic deck but after that Jordo loosened up the shoulders and started to let rip. The run rate suddenly picked up with Smithy building a nice looking picket fence with an important IIIII (5) from an opening partnership of 45 before getting his wicket skittled.

Joel ‘Iron Guts’ Burnell came to centre without missing a beat and turned up the heat with Captain Courageous as they both started to cart the Djurgården attack to all parts of the JCG. You know an opposition team is in trouble when the wicketkeeper needs to take off the pads after 5 overs to have a bowl. Jordo was putting on a MasterClass as he brought up Söder’s 100 with the established cricket side (formally SACS) looking like they had no answers for the Blues top order. With 11 overs gone the game suddenly became extended to a 25 over match with which a total of 200 now looking on the cards. Macca (Innings Umpire) had an excuse for every LBW and caught behind shout with just as many being a lie as they were true. Joel B(25) got his castle knocked over which saw Blues veteran Jonathan ‘Brissles’ Briscoe come to the crease as Jordo contemplated a chance for him to bring up his first ever cricketing century. With a quickfire (20) Brissles was eventually caught which then saw another Söder stalwart in Marcus ‘Rappa’ Rappoccio arrive to the crease to try and help Jordo score his elusive ton. As the Club Pres reached the nervous 90’s, the running between the wickets become almost diabolical with inexperienced square leg ump Larry waving away any close chances just like someone who has been umping 5th Grade cricket all of his life. With a huge six to bring up his 100, Jordo was forced to retire with rapturous applause (mostly due to those of us batting down the order wanting him gone so that WE could have a bat. Rappa and Tom ‘TZ’ Zacharissen plugged away and both finished 11* not out and 4* not out respectively. It was a fantastic batting effort with the final innings total being 3 for 181.

During the innings changeover, the BBQ and beers were in full swing with an obvious lack of Mothers in attendance on such an important mors dag. Iron Guts opened the bowling with a Harmison-esque opening delivery that went for 5 wides but soon applied the screws as he and Macca did their work in establishing a strong start to Söder’s time out in the field. Macca got hit for one of the biggest sixes in world cricket by one of the smallest West Indians (subsequently smashing into a passing car) only to then have him get given out caught behind by his captain umpiring at the other end when clearly kicking the ball down the leg side. With Macca not even appealing it was so obviously not out, the opening batter was allowed to stay out there after such a howler of call but it was only short-lived when the same umpire sends him on his way for one of the dodgiest LBW calls in T20 history. 1st change Craig Taylor (2 for 42) came on with immediate success after replacing Joel B with his rapid pace and then Brissles (2 for 24) also picked up a wicket in his first over at the other end bowling some right arm darts. At this stage, the Djurgåden umpires were proving to be the best players on the Söder fielding team as their fingers were being raised more often than an Aussie bogan driving in Sydney peak hour traffic. Not long after his dismissal, the little West Indian opener sprinted back out to the middle and sacked each of the umpires and proceeded to give nothing out even when some players in fact were walking due to it being so blatantly out. Rappa (1 for 7) and Jordo teamed up during the middle overs to keep the wickets falling but as Söder’s established bowlers were completing their spells, opposition middle-order batsmen and token Aussie Sean started to go to tonky town and brought up a quickfire fifty to have us under the pump and feeling pretty deflated. It was our skipper who again stepped up with a direct hit to run out their captain for a duck but Sean kept the runs free-flowing single handily and was looking like stealing victory away from the mighty Blues. With less than 20 runs to get and 4 overs in hand Söder’s King Midas cemented his Man of the Match performance by bowling out Sean with no less then 12 runs to go and finished the match with figures of 3 for 27.

It was a fantastic day and proved that we may all be footy players but the leather on willow is not that far removed from this talented footy club. Big shout out to all the boys from the Djurgården who made it a bloody terrific day.

Thanks to Brendan McCormick for this match report!